How do I write a Eulogy?

Writing a Eulogy: Honouring a Life

A Eulogy – sometimes known as the Funeral Speech – is a heartfelt way to honour and celebrate someone’s life. The most powerful Eulogies tend to be personal, genuine and conversational, rather than overly formal or strictly biographical.

While anyone can deliver a Eulogy at a funeral service, it is generally given by a Minister, Celebrant, or a close family member or friend of the deceased. If you practice a particular faith, you might prefer your Church’s Minister, Priest, or Pastor. For those who aren’t affiliated with a specific faith or are non-religious, a Funeral Celebrant could be a fitting choice. You may also opt for a family member or friend to lead the service.

Regardless of your decision, your Funeral Director will assist in securing your preferred person. We work with a number of wonderful Ministers and Celebrants whom we can recommend, and our experienced Funeral Directors will work diligently to pair you with the right individual or help you to create a meaningful Eulogy.

If you choose to deliver the Eulogy yourself, here are some key pointers to help you craft a beautiful piece that truly honours your loved one’s life and memory.

Preparation and Brainstorming

• Gather memories: Connect with friends and family to gather stories, cherished phrases, or unique traits
• Identify a theme: Instead of following a strict timeline, focus on a central theme, such as their sense of humour, commitment to family, or passion for a particular hobby.
• Focus on the “Dash”: Emphasize the individual’s character, values, and their influence on others, rather than simply listing dates and accomplishments.
• Decide on tone: A eulogy can be light-hearted or humorous if it reflects the person’s true nature.

Structuring the Eulogy

• Introduction: Introduce yourself and clarify your relationship with the deceased. Briefly acknowledge those who have travelled from afar.
• Body: Share 2 – 3 specific anecdotes that illustrate your loved one’s qualities. For instance, instead of simply stating they were “kind,” recount a moment when they helped someone.
• Closing: Summarise their legacy and provide a final farewell or a comforting quote. You might conclude with one of their favourite sayings or a line from a poem.

Writing Tips

• Write as you speak: Use simple language and short sentences to ensure it sounds natural when read aloud.
• Be selective: You don’t need to cover every detail of their life. Focus on the moments that were most significant to them.
• Include the mourners: Use phrases like “as you all know” to create a connection between the mourners and your stories.

Delivery Advice

• Practice aloud: Time your delivery to ensure you remain within the allotted time
• Format for readability: Print your eulogy in a large, double-spaced font. Use only the top two-thirds of the page so you can maintain eye contact while reading.
• Manage emotions: It’s completely natural to cry or pause. Have tissues and a bottle of water on hand. You may also want to have a “backup” person ready to step in if you feel overwhelmed.
• Maintain eye contact: Occasionally look up to connect with the mourners, especially when mentioning family members by name.

Questions to Consider

Alexandra, one of the wonderful celebrants we work with, has kindly shared some questions she uses to gather insights from families and friends about their loved ones to create a well-rounded picture of who that person was:

• Full Name
• Date and Place of Birth
• Parents’ Names
• Siblings’ Names
• Where they grew up
• Any details about their school life
• What they did after leaving school
• National Service or Military involvement
• Spouse (if applicable) and how/when they met
• Marriage details, including when, where, and their new home
• Children, in order of birth
• Family life, including holidays and trips
• Parenting style – strict or lenient? Memorable stories?
• Dynamics of their marriage (if relevant) – e.g., was one partner quieter while the other was more outspoken?
• Hobbies and Interests
• Favourite Food and Drink
• Friends to mention
• Later years’ holidays
• Grandchildren and Great-Grandchildren
• What motivated them? What was most important to them?
• Descriptive words that capture their personality
• Favourite TV Shows, Movies, or Music
• What you will miss most about them?
• What they will be most vividly remembered for?

By reflecting on these points, you can create a meaningful tribute that resonates with all who knew and loved them.

You can also find more useful information about writing a Eulogy at the link below:

https://humanists.uk/ceremonies/funerals/blog/what-is-a-eulogy-and-how-do-i-write-one/