The funeral isn’t the end of the story – so why do we stop keeping records?

We know that a Funeral Directors role involves rather more than arranging a funeral, making sure the cars turn up on time and ensuring nobody has accidentally chosen the wrong hymn.

Those things matter, of course. Particularly the cars.

But fundamentally, Funeral Directors are entrusted with helping families navigate one of the most significant moments in their lives. And that responsibility doesn’t end when the curtains close at the crematorium.

We believe, when the funeral is over and the ashes have been handed back to the family, that isn’t the end of the story.

In fact, there’s often another important chapter still to come.

The curious case of the disappearing ashes

Funeral Directors keep meticulous records of deaths, funerals, cremations and burials. We can find out when somebody died, where their funeral took place and, quite often, who officiated.

But what happens to their ashes afterwards?

Most families take their loved one’s ashes home. Some are eventually scattered in gardens, others at sea, on favourite walks or in places with enormous personal significance. Some are buried, some are placed in memorials, and a surprising number remain in cupboards.

All perfectly reasonable choices.

But the problem is that, over time, the knowledge of what happened to those ashes can disappear.

A family moves house. A generation passes away. Somebody remembers that Grandad’s ashes were scattered somewhere near Blakeney Point, but precisely where becomes a matter of increasingly creative family speculation.

And eventually, nobody knows. Nobody remembers.

Which seems rather sad, really.

A rather sensible idea

This is why we have developed The Ashes Register.

It’s a dedicated place where families can record what happened to someone’s ashes, where they were scattered, buried or kept, and preserve that information for future generations.

In many ways, it’s the missing piece of funeral record-keeping.

And here’s the particularly good bit: it’s free to make a basic record.

So nobody needs to feel that preserving this information is something they can’t afford. Remembering where Grandad was scattered shouldn’t come with a price tag.

Next steps

For us, the appeal is straightforward.

Firstly, it’s another useful service for families, without making an already difficult time unnecessarily complicated.

There are practical benefits too. A lasting record can help future generations trace family connections, avoid uncertainty about where ashes were placed and ensure that important details aren’t lost.

It’s a relatively small thing to do today that could mean an enormous amount to somebody in fifty years’ time.

One final thought

We don’t imagine every family will want to register their loved one’s ashes, and that’s absolutely fine.

But we do think every family should have the opportunity.

After all, we spend considerable time and effort ensuring someone’s life is remembered at their funeral.

It seems rather strange that we sometimes make so little effort to record where they finally came to rest.

The funeral may be the end of one chapter, but it really shouldn’t be the end of the record.

Find out more at ashesregister.com.